หนังสือ 1 Litre of Tears

aya-kito_33564_4

ฝนดูซีรีส์ เรื่อง 1 Litre of Tears สมัยที่เรียนอยู่ปี 1 จำได้ว่าตอนนั้นพักอยู่หอใน และฝนกับเพื่อนอีก 2 คนนั่งดูซีรีส์เรื่องนี้ด้วยกัน ร้องไห้กันใหญ่เลย และนั่นก็คือเมื่อ 6 ปีที่แล้ว

แล้วอยู่ๆ 3 วันก่อนระหว่างที่นั่งทำงานอยู่นั้น แหม่มก็เปิด playlist ในยูทูปที่มีเพลงประกอบซีรีส์เรื่องนี้รวมอยู่ด้วย ฝนจึงไปลองอ่าน wikipedia เกี่ยวกับซีรีส์เรื่องนี้ดู และตัดสินใจหาหนังสือมาอ่าน คือไปหาโหลด pdf ในเน็ตมาอ่านค่ะ ง่ายและสะดวก 😛

ซีรีส์เรื่องนี้สร้างมาจากชีวิตจริงของ Aya Kitō เด็กหญิงชาวญี่ปุ่นซึ่งป่วยเป็นโรค spinocerebellar degeneration เธอได้เริ่มเขียนไดอารี่ เพื่อบันทึกอาการของเธอรวมทั้งความรู้สึกต่างๆ ของเธอในขณะที่เธอต้องต่อสู้กับโรคร้าย ที่ยังไม่มีทางรักษาให้หายได้ อาการของเธอเริ่มจากหกล้มบ่อย เดินลำบาก จากนั้นก็เริ่มมีปัญหากับการเขียน การกลืนอาหาร การพูด และสุดท้ายเธอก็เดินไม่ได้ พูดไม่ได้ เขียนไม่ได้

ในความคิดเห็นของฝน ฝนว่า Aya ค่อนข้างจะเป็นคนมองโลกในแง่ดี และมีความพยายามมากเลยทีเดียว หนังสือเรื่องนี้ อ่านไปก็เศร้าไป แต่ก็ได้ข้อคิดหลายๆอย่างเลยทีเดียว ทั้งจาก Aya และจากแม่ของเธอ

นี่เป็นบทความบางช่วงที่ฝนชอบและคัดลอกมาจากหนังสือนะคะ ลองอ่านดู

แต่ถ้าอยากได้ความรู้สึกเต็มๆก็ลองโหลดหนังสือมาอ่านดูนะคะ หรือใครหาโหลดไม่เจอส่งข้อความมาบอกฝนเดี๋ยวฝนส่งไปให้ค่ะ 🙂

 

“Being made fun of is a good experience for me, because it helps me to become a stronger person.

The schoolwork in junior high is easily done, if I study little by little everyday. It’s not too late if I start now. I’m gonna try really hard.”

“Your high school life isn’t going to be easy. There will probably be more of hardships, being restricted from simple things and being seen as different from other people. But everyone lives with at least one or two hardship in their life. Don’t think of yourself as unfortunate. You can pull through if you think that there are people who are more unfortunate than you.”  – Aya’s mum

According to my mom, “Unlike people who cannot see or are handicapped, the things you were able to do before doesn’t leave your mind. You think hard about why you can’t do it anymore, and your emotions come out. So it always starts with the struggle with your mind. Even if others may view it merely as a machine-like radio exercise, its actually a struggle with your mind, it’s a training. Aya, I think that as long as you live every day to its fullest, you’ll have a future. Aya, you cry a lot, and when I see you cry, I feel so sorry. But looking at reality, you have to understand where you are right now and make your life full, or else you’ll never live with your feet on the ground. Mom and your siblings will help you with things you absolutely cannot do. But when we talk about our opinions, or argue we’re straight forward aren’t we? That’s because we think of you as a real live normal person and a sister. So take it as words full of love that will help you grow stronger mentally. This is a training as well, so that you will be able to go on when someone tells you something that stabs you in the heart. You learn love, and love what you know…basically you’re surrounded by love and knowledge as the name of the place where you were born, Aichi-ken.*”

“You didn’t choose to be sick. There are many things you can do, even if you are handicapped. If you were a person who didn’t have the power to think, you wouldn’t have been able to feel the kindness, and the warmth that people have, which you first realized after getting sick,” says mom.

“Although I am physically handicapped, I thought my intelligence were the same as any healthy person.”

“It’s better to be naked once” – once someone is naked (not literally, more like emotionally, mentally, inwardly), they can see something new.”

“It’s okay if you fall.

You can just get up again.

Why don’t you look up at the sky, while you’re down there. The blue sky spreads across above you.

Can you see it smiling at you?

You are alive.”

 

“What I’ve Learned from My Friends

1. If I remain timid, thinking I’m disabled, I’ll never be able to change myself!

2. Rather than seeking after what you’ve lost, improve what you’ve been left with.

3. Don’t think you’re smart or you’ll only feel miserable.”

 

It’s becoming really difficult now to move my legs forward. Holding desperately on to the handrail along the side of the corridor, I told myself “Don’t be afraid, don’t be afraid!” Tears came to my eyes as I thought, sadly, “I may perhaps . . .”

 

(When I was being carried on a stretcher along the corridor to the nurse’s room, I caught a glimpse of the blue sky.

“Oh,” I thought, “it’s such a long time since I saw the blue sky lying on my back!”

And when I was lying on the bed in the nurse’s room, I could see the sky through the windows again. The white clouds looked very beautiful as they drifted across the blue sky. Right, in the future, whenever I’m stuck, I’ll look at the sky. In the Sukiyaki song, Kyu Sakamoto sang, “I look up as I walk along, so my tears won’t fall . . .That’s good, that’s the spirit. )

“I don’t have any specific goals right now, but I wonder if I could provide meals or something like that for children who can’t move? I’d like to help them understand the warmth of people by holding their hands. I wonder if I can at least be some use to someone?”

 

(I lost my center of balance in the bathtub and sank down bubbling into the water. Strangely, I didn’t feel I might die. However, I saw a transparent world. I guess Heaven is like that . . .

I put my hand on my chest. I can feel my heart beating. My heart is working. I’m pleased. I’m still alive! )

 

“I wanted to be useful to society in some way, making the best use of the knowledge I’ve acquired from twelve years of school life and all the things I’ve learned from my teachers and friends. However small and weak my power might be, I’d have been so pleased to give something. I wanted to do something out of gratitude for all the kindness I’ve received from everyone. One thing I can dedicate to society is my body, for the sake of medical advance: I can ask for all my usable organs, such as kidneys and corneas, to be distributed to sick people . . .

Maybe that’s all I can do?”

“There’s another thing I felt happy about. Up to now, I couldn’t do something that to most people is a matter of course. It’s embarrassing to write this, but because I often couldn’t get to the toilet in time, I had to keep changing my underwear. I realized the cause of the problem: I only started moving after nature called, but I couldn’t move fast enough. So I decided I should go to the toilet regularly at fixed times. And it worked! – now I can manage without any accidents! I’m so happy, I want to tell someone. But it’s not the kind of thing you can tell to everyone, so I’m secretly enjoying my success.”

 

(‘Mom, I can’t walk anymore,’ I wrote on a piece of paper, restraining my tears. ‘I can’t stand even if I hold on to something.’

I opened the door slightly and gave it to her. I closed the door again quickly because I didn’t want her to see my face, and I knew it would be painful to see Mom’s face.

 I crawled three meters to the toilet. The corridor was chilly. The soles of my feet are soft like a normal palm of the hand. But my palms and knees are hard like a normal sole of the foot. Crawling’s not a nice thing to do, but it can’t be helped. It’s the only way I can move around . . .

 I felt somebody behind me. I stopped and looked back . . . There was Mom crawling behind me, without saying anything . . .Her tears were falling to the floor . . . All my suppressed emotions suddenly burst out and I started crying. )

เธอเป็นคนที่ยิ้มได้สดใสมาก

tumblr_lt8i3fiT1F1r4xeboo1_500

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s